Well here I am again, Sitting in a chair while I wait to meet the person that will have the power to put me back in jail if I make a mistake. It seems like it never ends, the struggle to keep control of my own life. Ever since I was sixteen I have had trouble with the law. As a result of my actions I end up in this chair waiting to meet the probation officer.

This is not the way I remember this place at all. These people seem almost friendly, yet there is that underlying feeling that these people can destroy everything I have worked for these last three years. The anxiety level in this room is very high. I wish to god that this isn't happening again, but it is. I already know they will want to establish dominance in the first meeting so I will allow that to happen with out contest.

I hope that I don't get a female probation officer. In the past I have had some good P.O.'s and one really bad one. Every time I went to see her I knew there was going to be an argument about what I was doing, What I was not doing, am I going to get a job, am I keeping clean. There is only one-way to describe this woman's attitude towards me; she had a hard on for me, she wanted to put me back in jail. I don't know what it was about me, but she hated me with a passion and it didn't take long for me to feel the same way about her.

My first P.O. was a juvenile P.O. In the beginning it was just a kid trying to find his place in the world. You know what I am talking about. The typical things that unsupervised kids do: smoking weed, drinking Mad Dog 20/20, stealing cars to go across town anything we were not supposed to do, I did. I started my future on probation with these simple acts of rebellion.

Now I am thirty-three years old and here I am again. This time it was an allegation of child abuse. They say I beat my daughter. What kind of world do we live in where a man is arrested for spanking his child, Threatened with prison, told that a jury trial is not in his best interest, and placed on probation for thirty six months, All of this for trying to discipline a child that truly needs it.